I know I haven't been on in a long while. A lot has been going on in my life lately. I may go into that later as there is much occupying my mind at the moment.
I don't know what has been going on with me lately. Even when I'm keeping up with my Prozac and taking it regularly, I'm very irritable, bitchy, and scatterbrained. My apartment is an absolute wreck, and my mind is too.
I think my hallucinations have come back once more, visual and possibly auditory. Anxiety is on the rise again as well. Part of that may be due to school, work, and sickness. Example: I have missed my past 2 sculpture classes due to stomach bugs that wouldn't allow me to leave the apartment and our first project is due next class. Said project still needs to be assembles, charred, painted, and glazed. So much for having good expectations for this semester! I tend to mess things up most of the time somehow or another.
So much has been causing stress lately. A few hours ago, I wanted toward more on my novel, but I couldn't find my paper copy, even after searching most of the apartment. It bothers me greatly not being able to find it, mostly because of the level of disorganization here at home. I don't know where many of my belongings are! The stress leads to anxiety to panic attacks to wanting to curl into a ball, cry, and disappear. Fun life, right?
I don't want to die, but I don't want to be here right now either...
For now,
Maude.
