Outlet

Dear readers,

Today, I realized I definitely need to reboot this blog.  Though I don't know if anyone looks on here, but that isn't the main point currently.  I need a place where I can vent and let it all out.  Before I begin releasing, I figure I should update everyone on the happenings of the past few months.

Once again, Millie is out of the picture.  We enjoyed a fantastic trip together when I was there in the beginning of August, but she wasn't in love with me anymore, so she broke-up with me on Labor Day, the same day we broke-up the year before.  Though it was very difficult and painful, I was able to move on and realize she and I weren't meant to be.

Today, I am so very grateful that Mille and I split apart again.  Shortly after the break-up, I met Eliza. It feels like fate that we were to meet.  After Millie, I decided I wanted to get out and dive into the dating realm, so I rejoined an online dating community.  After a bit, I ran across a childhood friend of mine who I hadn't seen since graduating high school over a year ago- Jessica.  After reconnecting, she invited me to hangout with her and 2 friends, one of whom, Eliza, I had seen on the dating site but didn't realize it until I saw her.  Before meeting, I didn't message her because I was at loss for words.  After hanging out that night, she and I went on a few dates and spent a lot of time together.  After we went to Pride, I asked me to be her girlfriend, and she said yes! Currently, we have been dating for 4 and a half months.  We even have plans to move-in together soon!  So exciting!

This semester, I am a full-time student online.  My current course load consists of anthropology, psychology, business, and world civilizations through 1500. What a load!  Between all the changes lately, schoolwork, and family things, I've been stressed through the roof.  Right now, I'm greatly enjoying life, my classes, and my relationship, but it's too much stress dealing with my family and everything!  I don't know what to do!  For an example, I've been staying with my grandmother for the past 3 weeks while my grandfather has been away on business.  A few hours ago, we were watching a show on weight, and she called me "obese"!  I immediately retorted that, according to the BMI chart on the government's website, I certainly am not in the category of obese, even if I have put on a some weight again lately.  I have nothing to hide.  I am just under 5'10" tall and currently weigh around 195 pounds.  That isn't obese!  I've been working out more lately and have gained a good amount of muscle, even if I do have a bit of chub in some areas.  By golly, I'm working on it!  At my max weight, I was around 230 pounds.  Ideally, my personal goal weight is between 150 and 160 pounds.  Since I've gone through the 80 pound range before, her comment brought back many thoughts about myself and feelings I had whenever my weight was higher.  I don't want to feel like that!

I think that is enough for now.  I have many assignments to due before their deadlines.

For now,
Maude.