Quick Rant/Thoughts

Good evening!

Well, it's midnight but whatever.

I just had a few thoughts to throw down real quick.

Oh my gosh.  I'm so tired of being sick!!  I'm in killer pain right now thanks to the fibromyalgia and scoliosis and can't enjoy my night with Luna because of it!  I wish this pain would ease at least a little.  Even with my TENS unit (external nerve stimulator), pain meds, and a heat patch, it's still at a level 9!!  I hate my body sometimes because of all my health problems.  The last time she was here, my digestive issues were kicking up, and this time, it's the pain!  Can I please get a break?  I'm seeing the pain management clinic, using the TENS unit, taking my medicine, and doing physical therapy three times a week.  It eases a little but then BOOM!  Surprise!  It's back as if I were hit with a train in my back.  Maybe the orthotics/prosthetics will help after I get the custom shoe insert to even out the lengths of my legs.  I hate how much the pain keeps worsening.  Sometimes, I want to kill myself to escape the pain, but I won't.  I have way too much ahead of me to cut my life short.  I just want to feel better.  Fibromyalgia, asthma, scoliosis, bile reflux, irritable bowel syndrome, depression, and anxiety love to reek their havoc with me whenever they possibly can.  Will I even be able to get a break?  I want to be able to enjoy my life and the time I have with Luna.  She's my amazing girlfriend and I want be able to enjoy the time I spend with her.  Is that too much to ask?  I enjoy my time with her but would be able to do so even more if my health would mellow out for a bit.  She's asleep next to me at the moment.  I wanted to vent that real quick.  Time for cuddles!

Sweet dreams,
Maude